On my way out of the Marina District today, I saw a sandwich board type sign out in front of one of the beauty salons. Displayed on it was a young woman, all made up, with lines pointing to various areas of her face like brow, chin, cheek, and nose, with various treatments labeled, like botox, chemical peel, etc.
It took me a few seconds of searching to realize that there was, in fact, no joke, no punchline about the cost of unnatural beauty, no promo for some more "natural" treatment with fruit. It was advertising a $250 face treatment designed to remove all effects of the environment and aging and well, life, and it pissed me off.
I have some fine lines around my eyes and cheekbones, now that I'm in my mid twenties. The guys at work say you get them around that time because you stress the fuck out in your twenties, and I did indeed for four years, wondering if I was ever going to get a job, wondering what I was going to do, thinking I was going to end up a useless drain on society and a genetic dead end, going hungry, training and beating my body into a pulp, getting disillusioned with the University of California system, learning about bills, and rent, and work, and people, and life. Hell, I fucking stressed about not being the right body type and mindset for jien shu.
I'm not saying I'm done by a long shot. Yes, I'm quite aware of how lucky I am compared to a lot of people, and there's a lot of hardship that I've been spared. I'm also still quite young and there are a lot of common human experiences I have not gone through and a lot of things I haven't learned, but goddammit, these wrinkles are MINE. I earned them. Why on earth would you want to take them away? Is that like pretending the hardship you went through never happened?
Even if these treatments worked perfectly and instead of turning my face into an expressionless mask, I ended up looking like the bubbly USF freshman I sat near on the ride home yesterday, chatting about studying psychology and working with kids, why would I want that? There's nothing wrong with the young lady on the bus, but I am not her any more. (Although I do, come to think of it, work with children.)
I'd no more want to remove the lines on my face and look like a teenager again than I would want to have wrinkles and age spots added so that I could totter around Nijiya Market peacefully clucking over the price of pickles and produce. I love old ladies and I'm really looking forward to the fun I'm going to have when I am one (you can get away with ANYTHING! I plan to hit cars that edge too close to me in the crosswalk with an umbrella.) but I am not there yet.
Getting through things and coming out the other end better is hot. Henry Rollins? Survived abuse, a pretty shitty upbringing, and years of rage. Very bright guy with a wry wit and awesome comic timing. Also, smoking hot.
If you erase the physical marks that your experiences left on you, it seems to me that you're trying to erase the memory of what happened. I can absolutely see the need for this for traumatic injuries, accidents, and disfigurement. I cannot see it for brow lines. Accept the stuff that life taught you. Wearing a mask of somebody unmarked, innocent, and inexperienced does you a disservice. Just as doing wushu and pretending to be confident and proud will eventually make you confident and proud, trying to be immature and youthful will make you regress and stunt your growth.
All words I'll need to remember so that I can swear at my arrogant youthful idiot self when I look like a California Raisin.
