When one's been born in this country, raised in this country, speaks the language, wears the clothes, and is fairly at home with the customs, one tends to forget that Office Food was chosen by and geared toward folks of a more European Ancestry and that it can OH GOD KILL YOU.
My ethnicity seems to be manifesting itself in a violent way as far as food tolerance is concerned. I thought that dairy could be a sometimes food. I was so wrong. This is sad, because last night at the pool table warming party, I had a delightful slice of pizza, then some spicy calamari and a lovely slice of cheesecake. This wasn't even crap dairy. This was Whole Foods vanilla bean cheesecake with fresh fruit, this was dairy that was from grass-fed cows and probably not even filled with cow mucus and pus and stuffed with hormones. Washing it down with sake probably didn't help, but I refuse to blame the sake.
What the hell happened? I used to have a truly American stomach of steel that could take any horrible unnatural things I threw down my gullet. Remember those mirror-image fake fats that they used to make "fat free" chips that gave everybody anal leakage so they pulled them off the market? I loved those! I could eat a large bag in a sitting and it never gave me so much as a fart.
This attack is all the more traumatizing because it comes from things that are so familiar. People eat pizza all the time! I always hear about cheesecake. It's like walking into your bedroom and being attacked by a your everyday pillow suddenly gone rabid. How the hell are you supposed to see that coming?
No matter.
I will spare you the details, save that going to bed with a combination of overwhelming nausea, sharp hunger because one no longer has one's dinner and a headache because one no longer has one's last dose of medicine is no fun at all. All I want to eat for the forseeable future is rice, vegetables, and fish. It even makes my stomach feel a little less lurchy to say it as a mantra. Rice, vegetables, fish. Rice, vegetables, fish. Rice, vegetables, fish.